


Room-mate

by MyRegardstotheReader



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, F/M, Fun, Humor, Romance, Roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:56:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5182730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyRegardstotheReader/pseuds/MyRegardstotheReader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Melanie Scotts is a Bartender at Oswalds, her best friend Lily is a stage dancer at the club, and so far she’s had an invisible life. But without thinking it through, she agrees to become Victor Zsasz’s new room-mate. Living with a stranger is hard, living with an assassin is harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Posted on my tumblr as well, because I'm zsasz trash and this was a hysterical idea

“Come on Melanie, let’s go out!!!!” The girl in dance leotard and hair done up like and pretty whined against the bar. Melanie, still in her black slacks, white blouse, and black vest shook her head. She had a whole bar to clean up and she was not getting out anytime soon. Her best friend Lily was close to passing out from exhaustion, which was the next reason.

“You are three steps from passing out and I’m still an hour behind in cleaning. If Jeremy had showed up for work tonight, I might have been able.” Melanie huffed as she lifted Lily off the bar counter and wiped underneath her. The bottles were back in their spots, and the glasses were running. She just needed to restock, refill, remake most of the stuff for the next night’s shift. Unlike certain bar-tenders, she was not an asshole. She liked a stocked bar when she came in. Though, Melanie was used to the hard work, coming in early and leaving late.

Though, Oswald never said a word. When it had been Fish Mooney’s club, Melanie was just a waitress. She wanted to bar tend, but Fish said she was better selling the alcohol. Her and Lily were her favorite servers, they wore short skirts well, flirted even better (mostly Lily), and were always on time. Mostly because Lily lived two minutes from the club and Melanie was raised a military brat. She always got Lily on her way into work and they had perfect records for punctuality. It was sort of an anal thing for Melanie, but Lily never complained.

When Oswald took over, he fired most of Fish’s old bartenders, who swore loyalty to Fish. Then he looked at Melanie. “Didn’t you want to bartend for Ms. Mooney?”

“I want to bar tend.” She answered, “I’ll tend for you just as long as I don’t have to wear the tutu’s and shake my ass for tips.”

“Oooh, I love shaking my ass for tips, can I dance on stage? I’ve always wanted to.” Lily added.

And that’s how Melanie because lead bar tender, and Lily was a stage girl.

“Shit… shit shit-Lil…. LIL!” Melanie slapped at Lily’s arm, rousting her from her cat nap on the counter. Lily hummed as she looked up and turned to Melanie. Only to follow Melanie’s eyes to the front corner.

“Mmmhm, eye-candies back.” Lily murmured lowly as she lay her head on her arms.

“I would love to marvin gaye him and get it on.” Melanie snickered. Lily let out a small snort as she pulled back.

“How is it that I’m ace and I have more balls to ask people out than you?” Lily leered close to Melanie who narrowed her eyes down at her.

“Just because you don’t feel a need nor want sex, doesn’t mean you’re not good at it Lil.” Melanie flicked her friend across the forehead. “You are a social butterfly and beauty queen. I am a ridiculous human with no actual socialization skills when it comes to anything other than work.”

Lily chuckled as she flicked Melanie back across the forehead. “I’m just saying, why don’t you ask out hot pants. Mmmhm, I bet he’s a freak. He seems like a freak.”

Melanie eyed Lily who laid her head back down, settling back against the bar again. “You scare me.”

Lily smirked as she looked up, “I’m an… ace of scares.” Lily snickered. Melanie scowled as she looked to Lily who was quietly laughing to herself. Melanie thought about torturing her best friend more, but sighed and continued to clear out her bar. Mostly because, starting up a conversation with someone like ‘mr. hot pants’ was not something she could do. He was always looking serious, always coming here for work alone. Falcone worked Victor Zsasz to the bone, and Melanie thought Oswald Cobblepot drove his workers hard. She could only imagine working for Falcone.

“Melanie Scotts? Right?” Melanie went wide eyed and stiff. Had… had he just? He didn’t… no… he couldn’t have… Lily’s eyes went wide too, but with pure, unfiltered joy as she swiveled to the left. Victor Zsasz stood there at the bar, looking to Melanie.

“Yup, that’s her!” Lily announced, grinning to Melanie. Melanie shot her a death glare before slowly turning to the man.

“Hi… Victor.” She looked around. “Are you thirsty? I could make you something? Or… do you need Oswald? He’s in the back, I can go grab him-”

“I actually stopped by for you.” Melanie’s mouth hung open for a moment, unable to speak words. She laughed nervously as she dropped the rag she was using to clean into the sanitizer bucket and walked towards where he was. Please, she begged, for him to be here to assassinate her. She’d fucked up, done something wrong. Oh he was going to pull out his gun and shoot her.

“Yes?” She asked, drying her hands on her apron.

“You spoke last time of needing to find a new place to live?”

Shit. Did she say that? No, it was more along the lines of ‘I’m done with Ellie and her shit, I’m moving out. I can’t live with this slob any more. fuck her and her damn hot topic leggins and elitist attitude.’ Melanie blushed hard as she looked down to the bar and pretended to shift around things that needed shifting.

“Ah, Yes…” She hadn’t thought anyone other than Lily and Butch heard that rant late into the morning. Butch was howling with laughter at that point as Melanie was hand coating margaretta glasses and putting up high glasses on the shelf.

“I have unfortunately lost my last room-mate and require a new person to fill the space on my lease. Would you consider moving in? As your current predicament is not pleasant.”

Melanie could feel Lily’s bouncing energy, as if she would burst out of her skin and shake Melanie clean of her own. Melanie smiled softly, unsure what to say. Yes, I’ll move in with you. A known assassin, hitman for Falcone, and all around scary man. He had a pack of girls who followed him around in their little killer group. Why didn’t he ask them. Shut up! Melanie blinked for a moment, realizing she had just been staring at him in disbelief.

“Ah! I mean… Yes! Sure!” Victor blinked. “When can I move in?”

Lily was actually holding her mouth closed with her own hands, turning from the scene.

“I should clean up the other room, but you can move in as early as 8 am tomorrow. Actually, I will text you the address, do come at 8, so that I can assist your transition. I prefer nothing be broken in the process.” He stated with a look of finalization. He pulled out his phone and began to punch in numbers.

“I … er…. Can I ask… what do you mean, lost your last room-mate?” she asked as he handed her his phone and she sent the text to her phone number. As her phone went off in her pocket, she handed him the phone back. Victor closed it and slipped it inside his jacket pocket.

“I shot him.” He stated point blank, turning to leave. Only to take two steps and turn back around with a smirk. “Twice.” And with that, he was gone.

Melanie turned to look at Lily who waited just three seconds after Victor was out of Oswald’s and burst into a mad cackle.

“LILY!”

Lily howled with laughter, toppling off the bar stool. She actually lay on the floor, holding her stomach, laughing even harder. Melanie held her face in her hands as she whined.

“What’s going on out here?” Melanie looked up to Butch, walking out of Oswald’s office.

“Melanie! HA! SHE...HAHAH! SHE AGREED… TO LIVE… HAHAHAHAH! WITH VICTOR ZSASZ!” Lily was howling, holding her stomach as she gasped for air.

Butch’s eyes went wide as he looked to Melanie, who shared the same look of horror. The same look of ‘what have you done.’ and the answer was, agree to move in with Gotham’s most lethal. She should call him, tell him she needed to actually think about it. Lie and don’t move in with him. But she needed the move. She needed a place that wasn’t with her current ex. Ellie was the worst idea she ever had, the freeloader couldn’t even be trusted to pay the bills ontime or wash her own clothes. Oh no, this would be good for Melanie….

But Victor Zsasz???

He shot his last room-mate!

Twice!!!!


	2. The Lease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melanie and Victor sign the papers, too late to go back now.

“Lily, please stop laughing!” Melanie whined over her phone as she stepped out around the corner. The neighborhood that she was in was so much nicer than she expected to ever live. The homes weren’t mansions, but they were more than just one floor, some had large yards, some had large homes. They were all individual, and spaced out. Some even had inground pools. 

“I can’t. You have the best stories.” Lily cackled over the phone. Melanie knew her best friend was sprawled on her queen bed, lounging in just gym shorts and a tank-top, working on removing the make-up and glitter from last night. Melanie should be at home, still sleeping. But instead, she was walking to an address that a serial hitman gave her. She was doing this. She was really moving in with Victor Zsasz.

“Only because I do this to myself constantly.” Melanie grumbled as she checked the address written on her palm again and again. Rounding a new corner, she looked at the street sign. 

“What? The moving in with hot serial killers or getting into odd predicaments?” Melanie could hear Lily’s snort over the phone as Melanie stopped in front of a mailbox. Here it was, moment of truth. 

“Both? Both is good.” Melanie felt her mouth hang open. The house was light blue with white outlining, a large front porch, matching back yard, even a white swing on the porch. Victor Zsasz’ black charger was out front in the drive-way, but the house was not Victor Zsasz. “Lily, you’re never going to believe this.”

“Please tell me it looks like the haunted house. Are there cob webs? Please let there be cobwebs… dead boddies? Is it a tomb? Melanie, talk to me.”

“It’s….”

“It’s? Creepy? Is there ominous music?”

“It’s normal.”

“What? What do you mean normal, send me a picture.” Melanie hung up just to point her phone up. Clicking a picture, she sent it to Lily instantly and began her treck up the stone pathway to the porch. The door opened as she did so and Victor stepped out. He wore a plain black shirt over dusty jeans and Melanie halted. If Victor zsasz was delicious in uniform, she desperately underrated how bad she would have it living with him.

Her phone ring broke her out of her stare. Looking down to her phone screen, she smiled at Lily’s reply. ‘WHERE ARE THE BODIES????? @.@’  
“Expecting something?” Victor brought her attention back to him. Melanie smiled sheepishly as she pocketed the phone. 

“Uh, I mean, it’s not what I expected.” She motioned at his house in a flapping motion. Reigning herself back in as he pocketed his hands in his jeans and walked down the steps. 

“No car?” 

“I didn’t know what kind of neighborhood or apartment you would own. I took the bus today.” She stepped up towards the steps. Focus. Melanie forced herself to look around the yard and she was impressed. The lawn was cut precisely, the miniature garden on the side of the house was blooming and beautiful white flowers on bushes. The porch was clean obviously and the swing was complemented by soft blue cushions. 

“It’s a good thing, will make coming and going easier to get your things. Come on, I’ll show you around first.” He nodded, turning and marching back inside. Melanie’s eyebrows shot up as she followed him inside. Now this, this was where the bodies were hiding. He could keep an outside as good as he wanted. But she knew the truth.

“Oh you’ve got to be shitting me.” She blurted out, shutting the front door behind her. 

“What?” Victor chuckled, turning to her. 

“You have… it’s just… your house…”

“Our house now, I’ve got the lease drawn up, you just have to sign.” He motioned at the table. “What were you expecting?”

“Gothic fashion, cob webs, ghosts, definitely ghosts.” She walked towards the large round table. It had place mats on it, a fake pot of flowers, and it was clean. Unlike her apartment with Ellie which she could never keep clean. Maybe living here, she could finally breathe. Be in peace and never worry about roaches. 

“Are you disappointed?” Was that? it was! He laughed. Melanie whirled around to see his lips twitched up in a smirk. “We can pick up some cobwebs and black paint on the way back.”

“No! No… that won’t be necessary.” Melanie laughed as she looked around. “It’s clean. Like… really clean. You have no idea how much that makes me happy.” She took a deep breath in and the whole place smelt like clean laundry. What a pleasant scent. Melanie grinned and walked back towards him as he motioned towards the living room.

“I have a tv, I usually only use it for my xbox, but there is basic cable. If you want more, you’ll have to foot the bill. I don’t actually watch it.” He shrugged. “The kitchen is through here. I have the basics, I don’t cook often, so if you want groceries feel free to get them. If you want to share, I’ll put in some money for groceries, but if you want food for just you, just label it. The laundry room is behind it…” 

Melanie followed him around the kitchen, through the laundry, into the back porch. Then back inside through the side door, there was a hallway with split staircases. On the left was a doorway, then a downward staircase, a locked door at the bottom. To the right, a doorway, then an upwards stairs and locked door at the end. 

“You have the right, that’s your room and the attic is yours to do with as you wish. Just don’t catch anything on fire or leave anything out to rot. The left is mine, and the basement is mine. Never… question, anything you see going down there or coming back up. It’s sound proof so I won’t keep you awake.” 

Melanie looked to him, then nodded slowly. 

“Good, please remember it. My last roommate could not remember simple house rules.” He growled as they walked down the hall towards the living room. It was a large, spacious house that felt homey, but Melanie could never forget that it was only half hers. 

“Did you shoot him for it?” Melanie joked, laughing as he turned to her.

“No, I shot him because Falcone told me to.” He only let his lips turn up in a smirk as he looked her shocked face. “I broke his legs first for not obeying rules.”

Melanie stood there for a moment, face pale and mouth open. Gawking really, as Victor eyed her. Then he broke out in a chuckle as he shook his head. Then she let out a light laugh as well. “You were shitting me?”

“No, I did all that, but your face is priceless. Come, best get these signed and sent into the bank before we grab your things.” Victor was walking towards the table. Melanie tried, she honestly did, to say something. Say, no you can’t. Don’t risk it. No matter how pretty the house or the person in the house was. But when he turned and eyed her, she melted, her frown in a soft smile.

He had asked! He needed someone to keep the house. She needed to get away from her ex. They could both win. Besides, his last room-mate must have been stupid not to fear him. Melanie had a 4.0 GPA leaving college and a bachelors in chemistry and a culinary associates. She was …not doing anything with her school but that shouldn’t matter! She could do this! Besides, he must be a very considerate roommate unlike someone she could mention. 

This time she wasn’t moving somewhere for someone. She was doing this for her. No more decisions based on romance. No, do this to finally get your feet under you! Melanie may be attracted to Victor Zsasz, but she didn’t move from the heart of Texas to New York because of him, nor did she move out of the dorm rooms at the university for him. No she was doing this for her. 

“How much is Rent?” She asked as she settled down in the chair. 

“330 a month, electricity is 100 a month, water and trash are 25, and internet is free.”

Melanie eyed him before smiling. “Deal.” 

Victor handed her the pen and pushed over the papers. “Go ahead and read over it, I’m grabbing some water.” Melanie watched him stand and walk towards the kitchen. She ought to read over the paper thoroughly, but she couldn’t. She kept stealing glances at him, before finally settling her nerve to ask.

“Why me?” Melanie asked, turning to look him in the eye. He walked around the open bar of the kitchen with his water bottle.

“I carefully choose everyone I interact with. Your history shows you are always the one to take care of the abode, you completed college, have a small group of friends that you rarely bring home, and open minded. Plus, the way you keep that bar pristine, shows me you enjoy cleanliness above trash.” Victor stated. Melanie turned slowly to the table, internally screaming. Her head said that of course, he would know about her. But the idea that he actually, actively sought her out as a person of interest to room with, made her want to hide in a deep hole. She didn’t have the courage to ask how long he’d been thinking about having her live here.

Melanie signed the papers and knew instantly her fate was sealed. Was it worth it for half the price she was paying now for a shitty apartment with a shitty human and shitty internet? He had Melanie at free internet. Oh… Lily would never let her live this down. 

“Fantastic, lets go drop this off… Then to your last place of residence.” He took up the papers and winked at her. Melanie nodded, following him almost right behind him. Victor locked up before turning to her. He was close as he put up his hand, taking hers in it. Then he dropped icy cold keys into her palm and turned from her. 

Melanie didn’t even have to tell him, or have Lily drop hints. He knew. He had to know. He had to know that she talked about him at work like he was a buffet that she would spend her whole paycheck on. She once told Lily she’d roll around in his sheets just to smell him, because he had walked past them and she smelt his cologne. Victor Zsasz had to know she wanted to eat him alive. But she knew the difference between eating someone delicious, and eating dynamite. And Zsasz was dynamite. Not even dynamite, no, he was nitroglycerin and boy was he likely to explode. 

He had to know, because when he turned to her, she watched breathlessly as his eyes devoured her whole. He intentionally stopped on her lips, only to trail up and catch her eye. The twinkle in his eyes tipped her off, the smug smirk on his lips as he brushed past her and walked towards his car. 

“You… smooth, asshole.” She hissed under her breath. Preying on a poor, horny girl. Melanie silently cursed her loud mouth when she was tired at the bar and followed him to his car. 

Living with him might just kill her, not actually dying by his hands.


	3. The Argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melanie confronts her ex about her moving out and Victor lays down some deep words of wisdom. #IamMelanieScotts "Do I look like I've got my shit together?"

“What do you mean you’re leaving!” Ellie screeched as Melanie sighed again. She had hoped to avoid this. She had already called and cut herself out of the lease at the office. Even paid the 300 dollar fee for a missed months rent out in cash. No need to cry over spilt milk when she was about to get cheesecake. That didn’t actually make sense in Melanie’s head, but it was stuck and now she was sure she’d say it again. 

“I’m moving out. Victor already has half my stuff in his car.” Melanie stated. Her truck was a run down, it was a pick-up, and it would only be able to take her mattress and a few other things. Good thing she didn’t have much to take with her. 

“Who is Victor? Is he your boyfriend? HUH? You running off with some other guy.” Ellie was almost shrill as Melanie packed up the last bit of her personals from the bedroom. There was nothing in the kitchen worth taking with her other than her knife set. But those Victor had in his car. Melanie didn’t own much, she didn’t have the money for much.

“If you remember correctly, I left Corey for you, to run off here.” Melanie rolled her eyes. She had to admit she had a habit of chasing love somewhere. But that was not the case now. “But if you also remember, you broke up with me so you could sleep with Maddie?”

Ellie’s face went up in redness as Melanie brushed past her and put the box near the front door. The only thing left was her mattress. Ellie was supposed to be at work till four, Melanie should have known she’d skip out early. She always did this. Made a big hissy fit for why Melanie should do everything for her, then try to make up for it with sex. Granted, Ellie was fantastic at sex, she knew right when you needed something. Her mouth was heaven and her kisses left you breathless. Only, melanie forced herself to say no.

To stand her ground. 

No more being roped into Ellie’s mess of a life only to be unhappy. 

“But… Melanie… how are…” Ellie pouted as Melanie turned. Clasping Ellie by the shoulder, Melanie looked her in the eyes.

“Pay your bills, go to work, and clean the kitchen. You’ll be just fine.” Melanie smiled as she patted Ellie on the shoulder. She tried to brush past the blond, but the girl was sniffling. Crying, instant crying. No, Melanie gritted her teeth and took another step. 

“Mel-Mel.” Oh how she hated that nick-name. It had been so sweet and loving before. Back when Ellie was all about Melanie, all about their love. Ellie came from rich, elite family, the rebel daughter who wanted nothing to do with the prude life. She still went running back to mom and dad when she hit rock bottom. Melanie would not be there to pick up the pieces this time.  
“No.” Melanie hissed. 

“But… Mel-Mel” A soft dainty hand was on her arm, and Ellie’s hot tears were soaking into her t-shirt. Melanie was already sweaty from packing, she didn’t need this. Melanie didn’t see the door open again as Ellie pressed butterfly kisses up her shoulder, then to her cheek. That’s how it always starts, then her lips were near her ear. Melanie snapped, she whipped around and slapped Ellie hard. Right across the face. The sound was harsh enough, but Melanie could see the shock on Ellie’s face.

“You have no right! You don’t get to treat me like trash, throw me around, play with my head, then expect me to stay just because you can’t be an adult. Don’t you ever touch me again!” Melanie hissed, her hands shaking. That’s when she caught another person in the room. It was Victor. 

“Everything alright?” 

Melanie turned from the scene, storming into her room. She had already ripped off her sheets and stuffed them in a box earlier. She was merely flipping her mattress off her bed when Victor stood in her doorway. Silently he took the other end of the mattress and hoisted it with them, carrying it around the living room and out the door. There was silence as they flopped it into her truck bed. Victor stayed silent as Melanie walked back into an empty apartment. If Ellie was in there, she made herself scarce. Melanie took up her box spring, Victor somehow manhandling that and the last box she had put by the door. Once the box was in her cabin and the box spring in her truck, Melanie finally looking to Victor.

“I see what you mean about the hot topic leggings.” He stated as Melanie let out a snort. 

“You going to lead the way?”

“I was shocked, you had less than I expected.” He pulled his keys from his pocket. Melanie had her purse already in her truck but her keys were in her pocket. 

“Me too.” She chuckled as they both clambered into their vehicles. The best thing about following Victor was he sped ahead like sonic, but somehow magically was there waiting at the twists and turns, ready to show her the way. Riding to her apartment, he was silent in his driving and twice as scary. Maybe he had no fear of death because he himself was death. 

Thankfully, Victor’s home was not too far out from her usual commute anyway. 

Melanie stepped out of her truck as she parked next to Victor and stared at the house. 

“I need to break something.” She grumbled to herself as she heard a chuckle from the driveway. Turning, she looked Victor in the eye. There it was, that wicked smirk, like he knew more than anyone else. He closed his door and nodded for her to grab the mattress. He walked around letting her lift it with him.

“I could arrange that. Let’s get these inside first.” He snickered and within a few minutes the mattress’ were lying on the floor. Melanie stood there pissed off and sweaty, teeth gritted as she looked to the empty room.

“So, about breathing things?” He cocked a brow at her. 

“What did you have in mind?”

“Come with me.” Victor brushed past her as he walked towards the attic. Melanie followed quickly, handing over her keys when he put out his hand. The lock fell off the door with her third key, obvious for that lock. Melanie made a mental note to label them as Victor walked inside. Melanie stepped inside and her mouth hung open. 

There were cushions, mattress’ and furniture. 

“I was going to take it out for you when you went to work tomorrow. But I figure breaking it all down would relieve your anger… and be most amusing for me.” He turned to the right. There were a few boards obvious used to hold things together, now just plain wood. He picked one up, weighing it in his hand. Then he handed it to Melanie who inhaled slowly.

“I can’t.”

“Oh you want to.”

“Just a little bit.” Melanie took the wood and was helpless to stop herself. She swung, she batted, she beat. The collection of things was a pile of fluff, air full of dust and debris. The floor was covered in cloth. Melanie let loose everything, crying out into the air, shouting. Cursing, Melanie felt her throat grew raw. Victor stood by the door and watched as Melanie was almost in tears as she batted the couch hard and fast.

“YOU…. BITCH!”

“do you hate her?”

“NO!” She threw the wood to the floor and looked back up to Victor. “Yes… No… Maybe… WHY are you asking? What does it matter?”

“It doesn’t to me, but you seem to have a lot of pent up rage.” He motioned at the room.

“Look at me.” Melanie shoved away the debris of the couch. “Victor, I am hopeless. I tell myself to break up with someone who doesn’t want me but to use me, but I couldn’t for the longest time because I didn’t want to hurt her or stop the small things she gave me. I left a boy who was hopelessly in love with me because I was bored with him for a little bitch who can’t adult. Do I hate either of them? No and yes. I work at a bar for a mobster who works under one of the most ruthless mobsters. I WENT TO COLLEGE for so many things I didn’t even want after I got them. I had just studied them for so long I figured why the fuck not. My best friend and I are entertained by making mud puddles and water fights, but fuck if I know how to do anything but scrape by as an adult. I can pay my bills but I don’t understand how to do anything else, but I can’t ask my parents for advice or help because I’m too proud and stubborn. I left a cushy life with my parents to move to a city that scares me shitless for a boy, then left that boy for a girl, AND I JUST LEFT THAT GIRL TO MOVE IN WITH A SERIAL KILLER HITMAN I BARELY KNOW FROM ADAM.”

Victor was silent as Melanie panted, her hands on her hips. “Do I honestly look like I’ve got my shit together?” She whispered.

“That’s the thing about being an adult that’s so scary.” Victor spoke up with a smirk. “No one’s got their shit together…. some people just handle the stress better.”


	4. Wakey, Wakey, eggs and backey!

Chapter three:

The best thing, Melanie Scotts, found out about having an assassin that worked for the mob as a roommate was the long and weird hours. Melanie spent her first day at their home alone on the couch, vegging out till work. Then she showered and dressed in peace, even had a clean kitchen to make a pre-work snack in. It was a beautiful thing. The whole place was clean and empty. It made her heart soar. She went to work knowing nothing would explode or go wrong while she was gone. 

The worst thing, Melanie Scotts, found out about having an assassin that worked for the mob as a roommate was the long and weird hours. The second night there, after coming home from Oswald’s, he was still no where to be seen. Obviously he had dropped by, because there was a shift in things on the table, and there was a receipt of something that she didn’t touch or move else it ruin their already good attitude toward each other. But he was gone. So at 3 am, she made her usual dinner, made enough for him to have some when he came home, and packed the left overs in the fridge for him, along with his meal. She left a stickynote on the fridge to let him know what was in there, and then went to sleep.

Melanie woke, expecting an empty house again, wondering what all Victor actually did in his own home. No wonder it was always clean, HE WAS NEVER-nope, wait, he’s here. Melanie stopped at his doorway, looking inside the open room to see the assassin sprawled across the bed in just his pants, face and most of his body buried in the pillows and mattress’s. It was funny to think he slept with atleast 8 pillows that she saw, along with comforter and the huge mattress. Like a cat who collected soft things to sleep on. 

Melanie smiled to herself, walking towards the kitchen. Best to make food now while he’s sleeping. She had the day off, thankfully, and looked forward to dicking around on the internet for no reason then picking up Lily later on to go out for dinner as they always did. Finally, a normal day! Melanie was nearly buzzing, when she almost missed stepping on a sleeping female. Melanie made the most ungraceful stumble and tumble to avoid stepping on the slumbering female, crumbling to the floor below. 

“Hello.” The female murmured in her cozy slumber, still wrapped up in two throw blankets and two pillows. 

“Hi.” Melanie whispered. “Sorry… didn’t see you there… I’ll just, go around.” The woman wasn’t even awake enough to move or acknowledge she’d heard Melanie. Melanie just got up and tip-toed around the first then the second female just sprawled on the floor of the home. 

Maybe she ought to ask Victor for a heads up before she stumbled over two assassin in the morning. Melanie turned on the stove and preheated the oven, pulling out bacon, biscuits, and a few other things. Victor had a good bit of groceries and they had discussed her and she splitting grocery shopping. Mostly Melanie was just happy to work with food that she was certain hadn’t gone rotten.

Her phone vibrated in her pajama pocket, Melanie pulled it out as she lay the last biscuit onto the tray. It was Lily. 

‘Is he there today?’

Melanie snorted as she pulled up her phone, the sound of it dialing as the only sound other than heating kitchen tools and breathing people. 

“Hey Lily.” Melanie whispered to her phone. “Yes, he’s here… they’re all here, sleeping like they haven’t slept in days.”

She began to crack eggs and season them before whisking them. “Probably haven’t, didn’t you hear Butch last night? Meroni tried to raid another shelter, so Falcon had ever hand on deck to do some pest control- oooh, is that eggs I hear in the background.”

“Meroni’s such an ass.” Melanie turned to the oven as it made it one sharp beep for being preheated. “Man can’t admit when he’s beat so he turns to bullying people he can’t possibly understand.” 

Melanie put the tray of biscuits in the oven, settling them before shutting the door. Melanie flipped on the faucet for the kitchen sink and washed her hands once more, drying them then fixing the phone. “And yes, I’m making breakfast, why?”

“No reason, just wishing you were making ME breakfast” Lily pouted.

Melanie rolled her eyes, switching ears. “Do you want breakfast Lily?”

She could hear the laugh of Lily as she all but football tackled something, or the floor, to get out of her bed. The ever graceful ballerina Lily strikes again. “I thought you’d never ask, send me your address!”

Melanie said to see her soon and pulled the phone from her ear. As she was halfway through the text of the new address she stopped. Should she ask Victor if Lily could come over? Surely he wouldn’t care. She was making food enough for a small army! Plus, he had invited his zsaszettes over without asking her. Melanie pursed her lips, debating it on her tongue. Sending the address anyway, she marched from the kitchen towards Victor’s room. It would take Lily a good 20 minutes to get here anyway, she could stop her friend with promises of bringing food to her if Victor said no.

Melanie made sure not to stumble over the two slumbering attack girls, and tip-toed to Victor’s room. Should she enter? She knocked on the door, watching him sheepishly from around the actual door frame. SHIT!

Why didn’t he hear her? She knocked a bit louder on his doorframe. Nothing… well shit. She mumbled to herself about bears sleeping lighter, and how she might die and her biscuits would burn. Only to softly toe to his bed side.

“Victor.” She huffed lowly, almost breathlessly. She was in Victor’s room and she tried not to look anywhere. It was an invasion of privacy to spy on his stuff without his permission to enter. He didn’t stir. “Fucking hell… Victor.” 

She said the second one more forcefully but he still didn’t stop his light breathing and flopped over the bed-ness. Melanie slowly knelt down to the bed, actually inspecting the assassin from here. Just to ensure he didn’t have a knife on him, but she liked the way he flung himself on the bed. It showed off his impressive back muscles. Almost made him look peaceful. 

Then she worked up her courage, which was hard, because she half tempted to just go back to the kitchen. She had to do this! Just fucking poke him! But what if he’s an angry rise to shine person. He was a trained killer, he could have cut her throat from the doorway when she knocked, he could easily do it here beside his bed. Melanie actually chewed on her lips, her fingers fidgetting in her lap.

“Victor.” She spoke lowly once more. 

“Yes, Melanie.” She nearly toppled backwards at his voice. It was low and gravely. 

“I-uh… I didn’t think you were awake.” She whispered, catching her balance once more. 

“I’m always awake. I just cat-nap.” He murmured, a smirk curling across his lips. He slowly turned his head from his pillow. “I heard you from the doorway, by the way. I was merely interested in seeing if you’d get close.”

Melanie huffed, scrunching up her face. “Butt-head.”

Victor grinned cheekily before sighing in contentment, rolling his body so he was lying on his side. “What do you need?”

“Is it okay that Lily comes over for breakfast?” 

Victor shot her a look, as if she had asked if humans breathed air. As if the question was so incredibly basic, that any human ought to know and he was concerned that she didn’t know. Which only made the panic in her veins skyrocket. “Of course, why wouldn’t she?”  
“I just… I don’t know… secret lair and all.” She shrugged. Victor’s shoulders shook with laughter, but he merely grabbed the blanket and curled up in it again. “I’ll… uh… tell you when it’s ready.”

“mmhm.” He hummed back to her, already dozing. Melanie grinned to herself, happy with her discovery. Only to stop cold in her bones when he spoke again. “Feel free to crawl in next time.”

Melanie shot him a look over her shoulder, but he was already gone to her and the world. Egotistical… hot…egotistical mercenary. Melanie made the same effort back to the kitchen as she did from it, whisking the eggs again and pouring them into the hot pan. The griddle for bacon was perfect and soon the house was filled with delicious smells of good breakfast, and warm buttery biscuits. Melanie liked it. This is why she went to culinary school, why she did biology and all of it. Because she liked the smell of good food, the way it made even the sleepiest of bed bears rise and come to the table. 

The girls were already poking around in the kitchen when she pulled out the biscuits. The pulled out the juice and glasses, setting the table. As if they had heard Melanie, there was a spot for Lily. Melanie didn’t talk to them much, only smiling at them as they moved around her. Working bees with sleepy faces and happy smiles. 

Melanie didn’t make a career out of food because she knew if she did this for a living, it would ruin it for her. She was just that kind of person, and unfortunately, it was a part of her she’d never change. Melanie grinned widely when the door opened and Lily sauntered in, in all her glory, and flopped into a chair.

“Ooh, Melanie’s breakfasts, couldn’t miss- Hi!” Lily put out her hand, shaking both Zsaszette’s hands with a giant grin. “I’m Lily, the better socialized half.”

“Oh-ha-ha.” Melanie sneered, picking up the plate with all the biscuits on it. Placing it on the table next to all the eggs and bacon, she looked to Victor around the living room. He was being difficult!

“it’s true.” Lily grinned, accepting a hug from Melanie.

“I’ll be back, must wake a slumbering bear.” She pointed at lily. “Don’t eat all the biscuits and bacon.” Lily cackled but nodded as Melanie walked towards Victor’s room. He was still curled up as she had left him atleast half an hour ago. 

“Victor.” She called out to him, smirking as he didn’t move. “I know you hear me.”

“Drat.” He grumbled. “‘ood smells good-” He was half mumbling, half a zombie as he sat up and rubbed his face.

“Come on, before they eat your pre-hibernation food.”


	5. Stressful situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is an attack in Oswald's club that leads to a little more stress than Melanie is ready to handle right now.

Chapter four:

Melanie Scotts held a sewing needle between her lips, long silver thread attached to it as she knelt behind the rear end of Lily. Lily held as still as she could, trying not to break out into tears. They were slammed, Melanie had her back up bar-tender Jemma at the bar, keeping up as good as she could while Melanie and Lily hid in Oswald’s office, Butch growling and grumbling. They were waiting for Oswald to make an appearance, because the suspect of the whole ordeal was still seated in a chair, tied and ductaped to it. 

“I don’t see why I can’t just break his neck.” Butch snarled. 

“Butch, what part of shut up did you not understand?” Melanie hissed back, continuing to stitch up Lily’s spanx so that she could atleast leave the room and go to the dressing room to change into her jeans. Neither of them had the kind of money to buy her a new pair, so the patched pair would just have to do until they convinced Oswald to buy the girls more or new ones. Good thing was that Lily had a pink pair at home, she would just do dances she could do with her pink and black outfits until things could be completely fixed. 

“What is going on here!” Oswald snarled, slamming into the door. 

“Some John got too drunk, he started grabbing girls off stage. Tried to rip poor Lily’s spanx off her. Ripped them good.” Melanie explained as she finished stitching up the line and tied it off. Then she cut the thread and stood. “You’re good to go, make sure the other girls are alright.”

Lily nodded, teary eyed, but still strong in her own sense. “Can I…”

“I already sent Victor a message saying you’d be staying the night.” Melanie cupped her friends cheeks and pressed a loving kiss to her sweaty forehead. Lily nodded, almost numb at this point, but Melanie watched her scuffle away, collecting herself. There would be much need for alcohol and ice-cream later. 

“Butch.” Oswald growled, having watched what happened between Melanie and Lily, turned to look at the male. “How could this happen?”

“Guy got up on a table, the band tried to get him off, but then he was grabbing girls. I snatched him just as he grabbed Lily. Knocked him good, Sir.”

Oswald was red in the face the whole time he let the situation brew in his brain. “Who is it? Why isn’t he in cuffs and on his way to the police station?”

“That’s the problem, sir. It’s one of Meroni’s men, one of Meroni’s guns.” Butch growled, He grabbed the chair, hoisting the male and the chair with it. Then he planted him right in from of Oswald. “He was told to cause a ruckus, Meroni’s trying to take a hit at us.”  
“Melanie.” Oswald snapped to look at Melanie.

 

“I’ve got another tender out there, I’m going to get the girls together and ready to go back out, no one’s left, we just had the band get up on the stage and do requests.”

Oswald nodded, slowly his red face turned back to it’s normal pale complexion. “You may go, get everything back together, Butch and I have business in here.”

Melanie did not need to be told twice. Walking out of the room, her arms crossed, she looked around the room. Thankfully, one of the girls who was free from being grabbed at, was on the stage, helping the band, encouraging people to be engaged. It helped a whole lot, and the drinks were still flowing. 

Jemma seemed to have everything under control, so Melanie turned to walk towards the back. Only to see a tall, lean, pale figure by the stage, eyebrows up and a confused look on his face. Bobbi was standing next to him, her jet black hair in a half mohawk of sorts, her leather pants seemed to glitter in the light with her chain belt across her exposed waist. 

“What are you doing here?” Melanie stopped by him, half convinced she ought to just go back to the girls without saying a word.

“Falcone is upset at Meroni, asked me to ensure everything was okay.” Victor grinned. “Seems you have everything under control.”

“It seems that way… yes.” Melanie grumbled. “Why is it always my shifts this shit happens.” Bobbi snorted, smirking to herself, but said nothing. Victor nodded softly, as if agreeing with melanie, which didn’t help either. Melanie rubbed her face, finally letting the stress of the whole event hit her. It sunk into her soul, the fear she felt about Lily against some drunk. Though Lily was likely to be okay and recover like it never happened, Melanie always worried for the day it wouldn’t.

“It seems Oswald has his end covered, so we’ll be going.” Victor chuckled.

“Right, see you later tonight.” Melanie blurted out before stopping completely. She looked at Victor who only winked at her, brushing past her, Bobbi doing exactly the same. “I didn’t! Wait… Victor, I didn’t… we…” 

Victor whirled around to smile at her smugly. Melanie’s mouth fell open as she tried to make sounds but nothing seemed to even work, let alone words. Then she grimaced. “How much wine is at home?”

“None, but I’ll pick some up.” He shot back. He was having too much fun with this. Melanie narrowed her eyes on him, but let it go. The idea of seeing Victor Zsasz wine shopping was humorous. They hadn’t gone grocery shopping together, so she had no idea what he even looked for. Obviously he did a good bit, because the house was full of all sorts of things. Melanie internalized her aggravation with her flirty roommate and whirled around. Walking into the dressing room, she saw all her girls flaring mad and stopped in the doorway.

“Are… we… alright?” She asked, eyeing the girls.

“You're damn right we are! Fuck heads think they can just snatch at us! Got another thing coming. No drunk is coming between me and my tip money!” 

Melanie looked them over, and found that every last one of them, even Lily had seemed to regroup and ready themselves. No pep talk from the awkward bartender then. Melanie smiled and nodded, motioning for them to go about back to the stage. Lily stopped by Melanie to press a kiss to her cheek. 

“We still on for wine and ice-cream?”

“Definitely. Victor’s picking some up, apparently.”

“Oh, well… we get to see how much of a Lush Victor is.” Lily giggled, but skipped out after the girl. Someone obviously gave her something to borrow as she was now wearing blue sequence bottoms, that matched her top well enough. Melanie stalked out to the bar, helping Jemma out. 

Finally by the end of the night, Melanie was ready to curl up into a stress ball, drink till she couldn’t see, and eat more than her weight in moose tracks ice-cream. Lily and her rumbled down towards her home in her beat up pick-up truck. When they arrived, Victor’s car was in the driveway and the lights were on. From where she stood, Melanie could see the tv on, and there was a human like form on the couch.

The door opened the sounds of loud battling and Victor clicking away on the controller. Lily came around the corner after Melanie. They both eyed the assassin playing the game, an older version of Halo it seemed, and looked absolutely wrapped up in it. Melanie went to open her mouth to speak, when she heard Lily speak first.

“Oh man! He wants us to get trashed!” 

“She said you needed wine, I don’t really drink.” Victor spoke up, turning around just enough to look at both of them. “Is it alright?”

“Oh it’s perfect. Melanie… get the spoons.”

Melanie proceeded to get spoons and the carton of ice-cream, flopping inbetwen Lily and Victor on the couch. There was no need for glasses as they merely took swigs from the wine and passed it back and forth. Victor didn’t seem to mind, and Melanie knew he would say if he did. Every once in a while he would lean towards them, eyes still glued to the television but mouth open. Melanie fed him bites of ice-cream as Lily giggled.

It didn’t take long for Lily to be trashed and Melanie on her way. The bottle was gone and the carton of ice-cream destroyed when Melanie tried to stand. “Whooo!”

Victor caught her easily and fixed her back up on her feet. Lily didn’t even try, waiting for Melanie to grab her hands. The two, like giggling preschoolers stumbled towards Melanie room. “Good night!” Victor called out, flipping off the tv and cleaning up their drunken mess. Melanie would apologize for it later, but now she just needed to keep her feet moving. It was only a few more steps till the two of them tumbled into her bed, laughing hysterically. 

“Melanie!” Lily called out, clapping her hands around Melanie’s face. “You worry too much.” 

Melanie cackled. “Captain obvious… you’re drunk.”

Lily giggled, snuggling up close to Melanie and curling up in her friend’s loose arms. “As are you.” 

Melanie fixed the pillow under her the best she could and fell into the slumber that was threatening to take her.


	6. Letting your lust dictate your life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melanie Scotts is astounded of what she had gotten herself into this time. Falcone asks her a rather personal favor and she’s not sure what to say or do, and she instantly tells Victor.

Chapter Five:

“Don’t make me kick you out.” Melanie growled, taking the cup back from the man at the bar. He sneered but shoved off, moving from the bar. Melanie slid the cup to the rightful drinker, apologizing for the wait. She wiped down where the man had been and worked on her next order. It was a relatively slow night, nothing too impressive. Lily was on the floor, handing out drinks and talking to guests. Oswald was locked up in his office once more, an important meeting with Falcone was underway, as Falcone was still in there. They had been there for atleast an hour. 

“Hey… Melanie.” She perked up and smiled to Butch who walked behind the bar. She handed him a water bottle. Butch took it and took a large gulp from it before he went to wash his hands in the sink. She ignored the blood that cracked his knuckles. Always best not to ask.

“Is our… uh.. Friend, taken care of in the back?” Melanie stated, taking up a man’s beer glass and putting it under the taps. With it tilted and up at the nose, she pulled and watched the alcohol slowly trail into the glasses. 

“Yeah, he’s tied up with a bow.” Butch stated. “Is the boss still in there?”

“Yeah, he’s been back there for an hour. I want to bring him his refil, but I don’t want to bring it in there. I’m not exactly… cleared for the conversation.” Melanie rolled her eyes as she handed the beer back. 

Lily came back up to the counter. “Two apple-tini’s, a black swirl, and a straight up jack with only one rock-a big one if we can.”

“Hang tight, Lily.” 

Melanie moved over to her glasses, pulling out what she needed to mix the drinks. Lily smiled up to Butch who dried his hands and took another swig of his water bottle. “Hey Butch, so what do you think of Melanie’s new abode?”

Melanie groaned, shaking the martini’s hard, like she ought to beat her best friend with it. Lily shot her a giant grin, reminding Melanie how much she wanted to erase what had happened two days ago. They had woken up to the smell of toast and bacon. Melanie tried to wake Lily, but her hang-over was a bit thicker than usual. So she went to collect food and stopped in the kitchen to find Victor in only a pair of lazy sleepwear. 

Lily somehow managed to stumble out in time to see Melanie attempting to hid from him, when he asked if they wanted two or three pieces of bacon. Lily refused to give her peace over it ever since. If Melanie didn’t know better, she’d swear that Lily almost shipped Melanie and Victor. Which was a nice idea, Melanie had many times thought about it since her moving in with the man. But she wasn’t about to ruin a good home because she was thirsty for her roommate. The last thing she needed was to date the person she lived with… again. 

Or worse, end up sleeping with him, realizing they didn’t want to be together, and awkwardly live there because she always does this to herself. 

“I have no comment.” Butch stated, attempting to walk away. Melanie placed the two martini’s on Lily’s tray and worked on the next mix. 

“Why not? Rumor is that you spent some time in that house Butch.” Lily pried more and Melanie’s heart stopped.

“Lily, please, hush.” Melanie whispered softly, putting the small drink on the tray.

“Why?” Lily snorted with a look of confusion.

“Because I didn’t do it willingly.” Butch snapped, glaring at Lily. 

“What does that mean?” Lily only jumped when Melanie slapped her hand hard, placing the last drink on her tray. 

“I means nothing, now go.”

“No, what does everyone know that I don’t?”

“Victor Zsasz is a monster, and he-”

“BUTCH!” The whole club went quiet as Oswald walked from his office. Melanie shot Lily a look for her to drop it and send her on her way. Melanie then looked to Butch, not sure how to speak. Butch had been awkwardly avoiding her this whole time. Ever since she moved in with Victor the manager had tried to avoid her when he could, scheduling himself any time he could to be away from her. Melanie had enough to worry about than to worry about upsetting Butch. 

She didn’t agree with what Victor did, but she’d never defend Butch either. She had more self preservation than that. 

“Melanie, may I have a word with you, and Don Falcone?”

“Uh….” Melanie trailed off, looking to Butch. 

“I’ve got the bar, go.” He growled darkly. Melanie swallowed hard as she nodded to Oswald, not sure what to say or do now. What in the world had she done to equate this punishment. She was going to die. Death, such death. She should have written a better death speech.

“Hello, Miss Scotts I believe?” She looked up to face Falcone. She only smiled weakly and nodded.

 

“Please, Melanie, sit.” Oswald stood to lean against the desk. Falcone lay his hands in his lap, smiling a soft smile on his lips. Melanie could only think wolf, and snake. Oswald eyed Melanie before he sighed and clapped his hands together. “I shall get straight to the point. Falcone and I are worried that you are sleeping with Victor Zsasz.”

Melanie’s face lit up as she snapped her head up to look at Falcone then to Oswald. Her eyes wide with shock. “I… I… I… what?”

“Miss Scotts, I agree that the question is a bit personal but you must understand that Victor is a very important employee for me. I just need to know where his loyalties lie.” Falcone stated with a sly look on his face. Melanie eyed him completely confused. Was he asking her if she was sleeping with Victor? What did she say? ‘Nah, I’m not sleeping with him but my best friend thinks I ought to?’ What about ‘I think about it, does that count’ or even worse ‘he’s an assassin, I would never’ which may offend Falcone more. 

“Don Falcone, please understand that I am just a lowly bar keep and I have no idea what you’re really asking me? Are you worried that Victor Zsasz, a grown man who can make his own decision about who he sleeps with, is sleeping with someone? I doubt you’re the overly nosy mother type who is worried about bed bugs.” Melanie stated, her face in a grimace as she looked over the two of them. There was something behind this. 

“You’re right, I’m not.” Falcone grinned. “You’re a whole lot sharper than you give yourself credit for.”

“Ha, Yeah, just wait, I get much more stupid.” Melanie grumbled before eyeing Oswald. He looked her in the eye, and she had no idea what this was for. Was he worried that she would betray him? She knew nothing to betray him for! Besides, what did it matter?

“Let me be brief-”

“Good, because when we got straight to it, we didn’t get straight to it.” Melanie interrupted with a snark. Then she looked down to her lap, situating her apron once more with a sigh. “I’m sorry, go on.”

“I want you to sleep with him.” Falcone stated blatantly. Melanie coughed, jumping in her skin as if she had received a thousand volt shock to her left butt cheek. Her bones actually hurt from how sudden it was. 

“What!” Melanie laughed disbelievingly. “You want me to sleep with him? Why?” 

“I believe it will be good for him. He’s a bit wild as of lately, taking more risks than usual. He needs a bit of … calming down. For some reason I have not seen him take interest in any girls I’ve paraded for him, and I’ve known him for some while, I know his type. I believe it’s because he has interests in… someone else. You, Miss Scotts, I believe. Victor is hard to read, but if you're sleeping with him doesn’t loosen him up, then it will open you up to what’s on his mind. I just want what’s best for him.” 

Melanie’s mouth fell open, slowly looking to Oswald with the same baffled look then back to Falcone. They had to be kidding! This was an elaborate joke. They were fucking with her. But as she looked between them, she realized they weren’t. “And if I refuse?”

“I’m not going to threaten you, Miss Scotts, I will not pressure you to do it. It is your choice. If you do not wish to sleep with him, merely open him up for me, let me know what I can do to get my right hand back to center. I will reward you handsomely.” Falcone stated with a smile on his lips.

“I’m not a prostitute, Don Falcone.” Melanie stated. “I don’t want money or anything for that matter.”

“Then what would you like?” Oswald interrupted. 

Melanie sat there, not sure how to answer that. What part of thousands of teenage fiction hadn’t prepared her for this moment. She would have to tell Victor the truth. But he’d be offended, knowing that she was being paid to … sleep with him! This was too odd to be real. 

“Can I think on it?”

“Certainly.” Falcone clapped his hands as he slowly stood. “Get back to me by Friday with your decision… and i look forward to hearing from you.” Melanie looked to Oswald who motioned for her to leave. He even told her to go on home and think about everything that had happened. Which was good, because she needed to leave. The last thing she wanted to do was tell Lily that her boss wanted her to sleep with her roommate. What kind of bullshit was this?

Melanie ducked out of the back and sent Lily a text to say Oswald sent her home to do homework on new drinks. To have her call if she needed a ride home. She wanted to just duck under her covers and hide. Only, to her chagrin, Victor was on the couch when she came home. He was tucked on the couch, hands and eyes focused on a game.

She shouldn’t have hoped to get away, because as soon as she tried to walk past him, he paused and whirled around. “You’re home early.”

“I … er...I…” Fuck… she didn’t even have a good enough lie. “If I tell you something, will you promise not to shoot me.”

Victor cocked his eyebrows up as he eyed Melanie from the couch. She slunk to the other side of the couch. Tucking her legs onto it, she sat down with her lips sucked in, trying not to let it all tumble out like vomit. She had to think through her words here. “My weapons are in the room, I would have calmed down by the time I assembled them and found you again.”

“Well… atleast you’re honest.” Melanie breathed as she pulled her jacket sleeves down around her hands. “I … well… I’m really bad at life, you know this, I do this kind of shit to myself all the time. I just attract weird things and I was… well… Falcone is trying to pay me to sleep with you.”

Victor seemed honestly surprised, beyond surprised even. Victor put the controller down and moved to stand, but not towards his room, towards the door. 

“Oh no! Please just hear me out.” She lunged to him and took his hand. Victor looked down at her and settled down into the couch. “He thinks you’re a bit… crazier than usual. He thinks it’s because you’ve got blue balls, maybe, but he just wants you to be less crazy. He might be afraid you’re going to snap and shoot a lot of people.”

Victor let out a scoff, rolling his eyes. He put up his feet on the table and looked to the television. Melanie watched with concern as he seemed to let everything wash over him. 

“Melanie Scotts, I would never want you to have sex with me because you’re being paid to do it. So if you were worried I’d take you up on it, you can relax. I don’t play with those who are paid to enjoy my company.” Victor stated blandly, leaning his head back to look up to the ceiling.

“Look… He just wants to see you more sane.”

“I will take that into consideration.”

“So what do you want me to tell him?” Melanie winced as he looked up at her with a bemused look on his face.

“Tell him you’ll do it.” Victor smirked.

“That’s not helpful! Because if I don’t actually sleep with you and he finds out, I would not like being murdered.” Melanie blurted out. 

“So you’re saying you don’t want to sleep with me?” Victor’s eyes lit up with wicked glee as Melanie’s face turned bright red.

“I… You… I mean…” She stammered as she tried to get her damn face and mouth to work properly. 

“Look, just tell him I told you how lonely I was over pillow talk. I’ll reign myself in at work… and tell him he owes you a favor. That way you’re not being paid, and if he finds out you didn’t come home to fuck me on the couch, then he can just take back his favor. It’s better that way.” 

Melanie sighed, leaning back into the couch. For a moment, she was able to breathe, not even sure what all had happened. Until she looked up from her lap to see Victor hovering over her, his hands planted on the arm of the couch. Her face blew up red fast as he grinned wickedly and leaned in close. “But should you decide you want to sleep with me, just ask.”

Melanie’s mouth fell open as Victor took up his controller and headseat again. He was gone, back to the game from whence she found him. 

How in the fuck did she get in this mess again?

Oh yeah, she had a problem keeping it in her pants and letting her vagina dictate her lovelife, and her idiot head dictate her life.

“I’m an idiot with no self control” She grumbled.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.” Victor snickered. “You’re really smart.”

“But a no go on the self-control. I’m going to go grab what’s left of our alcohol and chug it till this feels less awkward.” Melanie grumbled.

“Just do it on the couch, it’s easier to let you sleep here then on the dining room table.”


End file.
